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The Modern Day Gentleman

by Anna Thompson
06.09.2011

Unless you were raised by wolves, someone probably taught you about manners.   Standard etiquette like saying "thank you" or holding the door for someone is common knowledge. However, when you enter clubland, things are different; some people forget their manners entirely, others simply don't know how to act when it's crowded and loud.

There is appropriate behavior for the modern-day clubgoer.  No one wants to hang out or go home with a scrub.  And as a guy, you certainly don't want to be one. Even though it's dark in the club, it's important to be a shining example of gentlemanly standards. These are the top 10 ways to tighten up your game in a way that would make mom proud:

1.  Watch your breath. Believe it or not, no matter how on point everything else is, this is one of the biggest dealbreakers for females. Even if you're fine as hell, bad breath will make every female "have to find her friends/the bathroom."  There is really no excuse for this transgression, as there are a plethora of options to keep things in check: mints, spray, gum, and brushing your teeth. Have options available at all times. Refrain from smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey to help reduce embarrassment.

2.  Getting ready isn't just for girls. Think about it. Females usually spend anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours getting ready to go out, and generally it shows. Do yourself a favor and follow suit. Maybe even wear one.  If "To The Nines" isn't exactly your style, spend some time putting yourself together (shower, shave, and brushing teeth). Even if you are a sneakers and jeans kind of guy, make sure your shoes are clean and there's no weird stains on your clothes. Whatever you are working with, present the most well-groomed version you can.

3.  While getting laid is the objective, it shouldn't be obvious. Females can tell instantly when it is. Test the waters to see how a lady reacts to your directness and watch your body language. Some girls like a straight-forward guy and some like to have a bit of back-and-forth flirty fun. Pay attention to how a girl responds to you.

4.  Pay attention. This simple principle is important enough to repeat again and one that guys are constantly forgetting. Watch her body language and even how her friends respond to your presence. These little clues can tell you a lot.

5.  Individuality. Being different is a plus in the club as it instantly sets you apart from all the other options. This goes for everything from your hair style to your pick-up lines.  Most of what you're going to say she's probably heard before - if you are lucky it hasn't already been said earlier that night.  It's hard to teach people originality or creativity, but just know that it's as important to a girl as leaving the toilet seat down.  If you aren't sure how to be different, start with genuine interest (see rule 9).

6.  Manners. Good ol' fashion chivalry can go a long way and really resonate with a lady, as so few men actually exhibit these qualities today. First, offer to order/buy a girl's drink (but be aware of those girls just looking to score free alcohol).  Introduce yourself to her and her friends.  Ask a girl to dance instead of just grabbing/groping/pulling.  Hold the door open for a girl.  Give her your undivided attention.  Stay off your phone.   Compliment something specific in a girl's outfit or pull a Mark Wahlberg and ask her how her mother is.

7.  Buddy system.  A gentleman knows how to be a good wingman. He will always give his friends time with their female of interest by distracting the walking grenades that some girls keep as friends. You may even have to distract the grenades for an exceptional amount of time, but that is what gentlemen do.

8.  Attitude. Be fun. Don't have an agenda.  Enjoy yourself and people will want to be around you.

9.  No one likes a show off.  If you truly know about a topic, like film or music, then talk about it.  But make sure you are talking with a lady, not at her.  A girl doesn't want to sit around and listen to you talk about yourself.  She really wants to be talking about herself, and you should be listening.

10. Bring protection, and we're not talking jock straps! Say you end your evening with a lady for the first time, always be prepared with a condom.  Be the first to offer to use a condom, and if one isn't available then you should reluctantly decline until next time. (trust me, it's worth it) A gentleman knows that neither he, nor the girl, want to contract an STD or have a baby.
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