The Family Stone Review

January 5, 2006 11:11 AM
by [email]

I’d be hard pressed to come up with a film more falsely advertised than “The Family Stone,” which arrives just in time for the holidays with all the garish fanfare of a bow-tied gift.

What’s underneath the shiny wrapping isn’t quite as disappointing as the pink pajamas with embroidered images of telephones and pizza slices I got one year, but I would definitely consider it soggy, over-sugared pudding where tart pie should have been.

The movie opens one day before Christmas Eve, as Manhattan lovers Everett (Dermott Mulroney) and Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker) drive to Everett’s parent’s postcard-perfect house upstate. Headed by the Diane Keaton and Craig T.

Nelson, the Stone’s are also a fairly photogenic bunch, but before we confuse them with some squeaky-clean sitcom family, writer/director Thomas Bezucha (“Big Eden”) adds politically correctness in the form of a deaf/gay son (Ty Giordano) and his black lover (Brian White).

Older son Thaddeus is out of the closet, but Keaton’s Sybil has a secret that’s easy to guess the first time we see her, sitting glumly by a Christmas tree. That’s just one glimpse of the depressing destination this initially delightful comedy is headed towards, and it’s not exactly a fun ride.

I’d be perfectly happy watching the wonderful, irreverent Keaton unpack groceries for an hour and a half, which might be why the sorry subplot that she’s saddled with left such a bad taste in my mouth.

The Stone family’s frantic banter is engaging, but clichés weight in quickly. Luke Wilson employs his trademark comic persona to good effect, and Elizabeth Reaser does what she can with the thankless role of married older daughter Susannah. Rachel McAdams fares better as the younger daughter, Amy, who is determined to toss Meredith out of her brother’s life for good.

Since Parker’s Meredith is so irritating fingernails might as well be grated on the screen, it’s difficult to blame her. After greeting each Stone with a handshake that seems prompted by far too much finishing school, Meredith refuses to share a room with Everett and throws a mini-tantrum when Susannah’s little girl wrecks one of her high-heeled shoes.

At that point, I stopped wondering how anyone so uptight had survived in New York City, and started wondering if Meredith would actually make it through the film.

That she does- barely- is thanks to the efforts of the younger Stone brother, hilariously played by Wilson, and to Meredith’s sister Julie (Claire Danes), who is quickly drafted for moral support.

By the time Julie arrives (for purely romantic reasons as obvious as the direction of Meredith and Everett’s relationship), the film has already teetered into Cinderella territory, with needling sisters and the question of the evening: on whose finger will the precious heirloom ring fit?

Bezucha’s intentions- warmth, sarcasm, hilarious chaos- are commendable, but he’s clearly in over his head. When he tries to bring back the humor that so delightfully encapsulates the first half-hour or so (there are some terrific one-liners you won’t catch in the trailer), everything sours.

One dinner table scene, in which Meredith questions Thaddeus’s decision to adopt a baby, had me looking for the nearest exit. OK, so not only is Meredith annoying, she’s homophobic?

Dysfunctional family holiday films are a dime a dozen, and the only really great ones I can think of are “Home for the Holidays” and “The Myth of Fingerprints,” which blend humor and drama with deft discretion.

Commercials for “The Family Stone” promise slapstick food spilling and great verbal catfights, and both are shortchanged rather than enhanced by unnecessary tear-jerking. This movie starts off nicely, but ends up soaked in sentiment that’s thicker than pancake syrup.

Grade: C+