Bribes, Bluffs, and Killer Loft Parties

April 25, 2006 11:47 AM
by

I'm in the car, flying down the 5 on my way to San Diego. Porter, her girlfriend Daicia, and I are performing at DJ Blue's party, with Marco V and D: Fuse.

Porter goes, "So what's up with the red loft? They've sold the building. Are we doing a party, or what?"

"Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. Let me call."

I call my friend. He, and all his friends were getting kicked out of a loft complex in downtown LA. It turns out most of the tenants are out by the 18th, but the building isn't transferred until the 26th.

That means, - ITS ON! I call up six different crews. In the hour remaining in our drive, I call Ninja Skills, Pocket DJs, Green Sector, Azmith and Satchi, and my crew- Hipgenesis. I lined up the sound system, security, and the shuttle vans.

By the time I get out of the car, Daicia says, "My god, you just put together an entire 1200-person party in an hour. And I got to watch the whole process. That’s crazy!"

Cut to Saturday. 1 pm. We have keys and permission to use 5 of the lofts. The 6th loft, well, let's just say the door kinda, popped itself open. With a little help. I have no idea which crew did it, but the door was open without a trace.

We are now in full effect. Its a crowbar party--as in, we used a crowbar to get our location.

The hallway was decorated with crumbling concrete pillars we got off a nokia commercial. A famous art director came in and helped us design the look of the party. 7 distinct areas, music, artworks, filled the entire place. My friend Curious Josh cut together a bunch of counter culture films, and played them in the big open hallway. It was fantastic.

At 10 pm- disaster strikes. We're all set up. 1200 people are on their way to the map point/ shuttle drop. And I get the fateful tap on the shoulder.

"The security guard for the building is here."

"What security guard? There hasn't been security here for 5 years!"

"Well, there is now. And he's at the front door."

Oh man. Disaster. One phone call, and we're all busted. Sound systems confiscated, lighting units taken, tickets, arrests, the litany of horrible outcomes swims in my brain as I walk to the front door.

I grab a bottle of water, 500 bucks cash, and steady myself. If I say the right thing, behave the right way, I know we can pull this thing off.

The guard is nice. He's been chatting with my security team. We have gone so big, with professional security, porta-potties and shuttles, the guard assumes we're with the building.

"So this is a party for the kids?" the building guard asks. He's referring to the youth group that sometimes uses the downstairs warehouse.

"Yup. Do you need a bottle of water?" I offer him up my first bribe.

"Oh sure. Thanks." He takes the water, cracks it open.

"Well, let us know if you need anything," I tell him. "My security will handle the guests and interior. You just keep the downtown riffraff off us from the outside. Okay?"

"Sounds good." He goes out to his car, and hangs out all night.

Sometimes, if you just go so big, and act like you’re supposed to be there, you can get away with murder. I didn’t even have to use my second bribe--the wad of cash in my back pocket. All I did was act like the person that called his agency, and suddenly I had an extra security guard for the party.

Praise Dionysus for looking out for my party.

The place got packed. It was this incredible vibe--people dancing everywhere, different styles of music in each room--a huge party, with an intimate feel. Palm trees and green decorating the green sector room. Pocket DJs had black lights and naked body painting with slamming electro. Hipgenesis room was breaks and funky house. The ninja skills went with a Chinese red theme, lights, and an eclectic lineup. Spirit Rave had the incense, chill out, and live pa style music. On the rooftop, I saw at least 3 couples at various times having sex. It was one crazy, anything goes night.

Everywhere we went it was going off. I couldn’t walk 10 feet before I get slapped on the back. "Wolfie! Incredible party!" "This is insane! How did you get this place!"

I just keep grinning.

At 6 am, I was standing there with Jesse Wright, and we hear the distinct sound of a bowling ball hitting bowling pins. It's a crashing sound unlike any other.

"That’s a great bowling sound. Who's song is that?" he says.

"I think that’s actually someone BOWLING!" I say.

I go out in the hallway, and sure enough, there is my friend from the Mutaytor, rolling a bowling ball down the hall into some pins. A girl walked around the corner right then and had to jump out of the way to avoid getting hit. Matty and Buck had snagged these bowling balls and pins from a demolished bowling alley.

Sunday morning, we paid 4 homeless people 100 bucks to clean the place up. We pulled out the deco and speakers, recycled all the leftover beer cans, and locked the doors behind us.

We had found a crack in the system. A glitch in the oversight of an otherwise completely inaccessible venue. Their mistake was our opportunity. Hipgenesis strikes again.

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