Club Romance: The Pros and Cons of the Miami Club Date

August 12, 2008 2:05 PM
by

[Article Written by Aubrey Ford]

Nightclubs. Heaven to some, hell to others. Dating. Hell to most. Does it have a place in the volatile and booze-fueled nightclub environment? If so, what are the essential ingredients of a successful night out? If you’re checking out this website, then it’s a fair assumption that you are considering the possibility of going to a nightclub, and quite possibly, taking a date along too. Since we at Cooljunkie spend the majority of our days invested in such, we figured it’s time to take a moment to step back and reflect on the experience of clubbing itself, while at the same time targeting one of the more crucial circumstances that can be involved. We have compiled a list of the pros and cons to help you make informed decisions about your future romantic endeavors.

THE POSITIVE

Good Times

A fun person is an attractive person. Taking a date to a good nightclub shows them that A: You are an exciting person that likes to have fun and B: You know how and where to do so. These qualities are universally appealing and are sure to give you a vibrant edge on your first date.

Dancing Queen

For those who love to throw shapes, you won’t find a much better dance party than at a well-run nightclub, and taking a dance-loving date out to get down can quickly move things in the right direction— if that’s something you have in common. Be sure that you are up to the task, however because if your date is a dancing machine and you are a bit lacking in your moves, then this pro can easily become a con.

Kill the Silence

A club can be a perfect atmosphere for the shy to get comfortable with their date before engaging them in the menacing task of full-blown conversation. With 18-inch subs blasting in your face, conversation tends to stay simple and safe, and somewhere in the range of “Let’s get another drink” or “I like this DJ.” At a classy high-end club, you can play off your silence as posh aloofness instead of introversion in order to impress, rather than bore your desired companion.

Get in the Mood

As there are thousands of nightly clubgoers who regularly go out seeking what Pat Robertson would denounce as frivolous carnal pleasures, nightclubs make a concerted effort to create an atmosphere that is conducive to the achievement of precisely that. If your intentions are in the more mischievous vein, and you have a clear picture of what you would prefer to be doing shortly after your outing, then a nightclub can easily set the stage for a comfortable seduction.

Promote Yourself

All it takes is knowing one club promoter to take advantage of the clubbing world’s inane PR tactics, allowing you to walk your date, with an air of regal importance, past the line and straight into the club for free. Nothing makes you seem so much more important than you really are, and can easily impress the throngs of people foolishly enamored with the clubbing world’s pretense of exclusivity.

Open Bars

The open bar is one of the most overlooked treasures in nightlife. Nothing gets a date started right like a bunch of free drinks. Just make sure you and your date are punctual enough to get out at the early hour of 10, and then you’ll be well on your way to a relaxed and highly enjoyable evening. On the other hand, if your date is one of the many women who take hours and hours to get ready, then don’t pressure her, it’s not worth it.

THE NEGATIVE

Keep the Wolves at Bay

The contemporary nightclub scene can be a vicious arena of lonely sleazeballs who will do anything in their power to snatch your date away. Whether it means challenging you face to face, or waiting till you are off getting drinks to pounce, these nightclub wolves pose a daunting threat to the lighthearted or inattentive.

Waiting...

Unless you believe that you have the patience and tranquility of a Zen monk (and your date, coincidentally, does too) then waiting in line at a nightclub is probably not the best way to get the night started. Whether it is the obnoxious people at the door looking overly self-important or the realization that you are probably waiting there not to keep the club from becoming overcrowded, but as an advertisement to the passers-by about the place’s exclusivity, nothing has the ability to make a person angrier. Beware, especially if you know your date to be ‘type A’ in any manner whatsoever.

Access Denied

Dimitri Martin put it best when he wrote: Job Requirements for Being a Bouncer: 1.) Be an asshole 2.) Stand near a door.” If you have ever been to a major club of any kind then you know what he is talking about. Never underestimate the fact that in a nightclub, the bouncers are essentially omnipotent and they know it. Even the most placid of clubgoers are at risk of becoming victims of a sociopathic bouncer’s next power trip and being denied access to a venue.

High Maintenance

With drinks priced like gas in the year 2036, a night at a club with a high maintenance date could easily sap a week’s pay or more. Unless you are a high roller, a club is not the place to bring a posh date whose taste demands top shelf liquor and a table.

Pretty Distractions

The nightclub is a favorite dwelling place of the physically blessed. Male or female, it can be quite the challenge to keep ones eyes from wandering when you are amidst so many beautiful people. If you have trouble staying focused, have ADD, or are just really horny, then taking a date to a club could easily end with a slap to the face.

Noise Level

Anyone that sincerely wants to get to know someone on their first date should obviously not begin at a nightclub. If you really want to hold a conversation, then at least take them to dinner first. 12,000 decibels is simply not going to inspire any kind of deep conversation.

All things considered, taking a date out to South Beach or the likes can be risky business, but also has potential to yield great rewards. Nightclubs are intense and exciting places where the energy is high, and the results are typically equally as extreme. But if you want to know right off the bat if you vibe with someone then nightclub dating just might be your thing.