4 Iconic Ways to Party on Memorial Day Weekend

May 21, 2009 12:12 PM
by Pete Tremblay

Decoration Day is upon us. Established originally in the south during the Civil War by the wives of fallen Confederate soldiers, this holiday was originally commemorated by placing flowers on the graves of the brave souls that left their tobacco farms and mountain homes to take the fight for independence to those backward Yankee bastards. Families would come together with the surviving warriors to reflect and mourn the loss of their loved ones by spending time with family and friends.

Not to be outdone by those Con’Fed racist bigots, General John Logan, the national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic declared on May 5, 1868 that flowers were to be placed on the graves of both Union and Confederate soldiers alike at Arlington National Cemetery on May 30th (the last Monday in May).

One hundred and forty one years have passed. America has weathered two world wars, the Korean and Vietnam conflicts, invaded Iraq (twice) and Afghanistan (once). Many soldiers have given their lives for the protection and betterment of our society and way of life as Americans. As a society we have evolved from merely decorating their graves to memorializing their sacrifice with a national holiday.

It has become the duty of most Americans to annually celebrate the ultimate sacrifice that our soldiers have given so freely by coming together over a long weekend and indulging in the dawn of the summer by picking up a few cases of Budweiser and Jack Daniels, busting out the old photos of our parents in their service uniforms and giving credit to granddad for blowing the shit out of some Nazis during the storming of Omaha beach on D-Day. Memorial Day weekend has become one of the most valid reminders of the American way this side of Independence Day. That way of course is the path of over indulgence, beach parties, music festivals, sunburns and BBQ, and what iconic American celebration would be complete without an epic 500 mile race held in a place known as the Brick Yard. Here at CoolJunkie we are celebrating Memorial Day by acknowledging the four most iconic American ways to celebrate Memorial Day. Thanks belong to the soldiers, for without their (continuing) sacrifice(s) we would not have such a great country to celebrate, and truly remember what they’ve done for everyone sitting on their asses and getting wasted on the last weekend of the month of May.

The BBQ

Remember growing up and having your granddad get a bit too drunk and pass along the sacred knowledge of his fling with a Japanese bathhouse attendant and then passing out way before the ribs were done? The American backyard barbeque is synonymous with any American celebration of war. Let’s cook some meat, baste it in some deep red sauce and chow down. Couple that with putting the DVD of Patton on the flat screen and you cant help but get choked up from pride when George C. Scott Stands in front of the giant American flag and explains exactly how we’re going to ‘make ‘em pay for what they’ve done to those poor British People.’ Pass the A1 please!

Watching/Attending the Indianapolis 500

There are very few things quite as American as celebrating the history of automotive excellence in the form of a good old-fashioned race. The 500, billed as the largest single day sporting event in the world, has an estimated attendance of over 400,000 people crowding into and getting incredibly hammered at Indianapolis Motor Speedway each year. The Indy 500 is like a miniature version of WW II, being that it is a completely international event with driver’s hailing from all over the world driving cars made by international auto companies such as Fiat and Mercedes (and of course GM and Ford). What does this have to with Memorial Day? Not much, but it always falls on the Sunday before the national holiday, and Americans love any 500 mile race where someone could end up getting burned alive and turning into a greasy spot on the track.

Memorial Day Weekend Music Festivals

Be it the local music festival in downtown (anywhere) hosting the most accessible local cover bands (where most members still remember Woodstock, and calling Lyndon Johnson a god damned liar) to the Sasquatch Music Festival in Washington State, Americans love live music almost as much as college co-eds love Miller Light and beer pong. There’s nothing like a crowd of baby boomers belting out the chorus to ‘Freebird’ and ‘Proud Mary,’ while drinking Budweiser Tall Boys and becoming nostalgic about the firebombing of Hanoi. Don’t you just love the smell of Napalm in the Morning?

Party on the Beach

If you live anywhere within 100 miles of a large body of water that can sustain some form of sandy shore, the tendency of a beach trip to celebrate the MASH years is one shared by nearly everyone who isn’t at the Indy 500. Americans are compelled by nearly any excuse to soak up the sunshine and consume massive amounts of Captain Morgan on a regular basis. Compound this by adding a 3-day weekend and a celebration of any kind with food and hot enough weather (after all summer starts in a week) and going to the beach to get a little bit crispy is a given.