Frat Businessguy *funny*

[Tim]

For those of you who work in a corporate office...you probably know this guy...
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I am a Frat Businessguy.

I work in a nice office. I live for happy hours. I work long hours and get paid big. I am the young tiger in the office. I am the reason my company is getting really big. My company is hotter than yours. I am the reason "Boiler Room" was written and I can quote more of “Wall Street" than you. I know that guy. I could nail your receptionist. I can make her laugh when I walk in. I can get her number. I don't have your card. I'm going to New York next week. I'm good on the phone. I act like I've never paid my dues as a copiertech. I have a nicer tie on than you. I have bigger deals than you. I'm always downtown. I have a new phone. I know that place. I live in a suit. I can quote "Office Space". My taxes are complicated. I've always been to that restaurant before. I'm getting my MBA because I want more. I read something about that. I can put you on hold when you call. I can accidentally hang up. I have big money on the other line. My 401(k) is getting big. I complain about taxes. I already have almost five grand in equity in the place I'm living. I’m out late every weekend. I love my alma mater. You see what university I went to when you walk in my office. The old guys in the office like me because I'm 'young and aggressive' and like to tell me stories. I practice my swing. I spend a lot of money. My fraternity was better than yours. I'm busy this weekend. I know which cigars are good. I might have to go into the office this weekend. I claim I can go out and run a marathon. I know a lot about IRAs. I have my real estate license too. I haven't told you exactly what I do. I'll ask if you saw that big play in that game. I ask if you listen to Stern. I played that course last weekend. I know my football team's record last season. I'll put these drinks on my expense report. It was never as good as when I was there. I shouldn't have a car this nice. I'm looking at buying a condo. I wasn't listening. I talk a lot. I know all the dirty jokes. I'm a darling to the ladies in the office. The other guys are tools. I've! got a big future. I got invited to that wedding. All the guys I meet are idiots. I need to move companies because this one just can't pay me right. I can tell you about how that nice restaurant really isn't that great. I've never heard of your company. I already went to the gym. I can put them away and then get my car out of valet. I talk about stocks. I wear my suit to every happy hour. I know the big man. I know those guys, too. I wear a nice watch. Your girlfriend likes nice watches. I'm in the valet line waiting on my car. I pick up my cell phone when you're talking to me. I check my messages when you're trying to talk to me. I was just there. I know the cool bars. I just got these sunglasses but I really want the five series beamer. I skip on my buddies weddings. I never sent a gift. I'll be at homecoming over by the stadium. I have season tickets. I saw that hot girl on the elevator. I'm looking at a big bonus. You will get my card. I am everything that's wrong in America. I am everything you wish you could be.

I am a Frat Businessguy.

[endymion]

Ha! Yes I do know that guy. You forgot the fraternity letters tattoed on his body somewhere and the enormous signet ring that he hints is from sports heroism but he never gets specific about.

[pod]

I used to piss off frat guys when I was in school because I managed to go to all the places they could without being in a frat 8)

[Apotheosis]

Sigma Ima Dork

[pod]

We founded our own frat in college called Delta Alpha Nu. Never really went anywhere though since the only thing we did was annoy the piss out of everyone else.

[Apotheosis]

were you all named dan?

[pod]

Nope just me since I was the founder. ;D

[endymion]

I had a sweatshirt made for a Halloween party at one of the frat house shops where they sew the letters on stuff for the Greeks. Lambda Sigma Delta.

[pod]

I was tempted to give these girls down the hall from me Kappa Kappa Kappa shirts, since they were all "good girls" from The South. Until they got to Miami, the only black people they saw were making their beds.