how long should u wait...........?

[bootstah]

What do u think is an appropriate amount of time to take a person "home" with u? And I mean after you break-up with someone who you've been in a very meaningful relationship with for several months. Do u think it's wrong to take someone home who you as a couple have hung out with a week after u've broken up with the other person?

[pod]

You're asking the wrong crowd here.
Seriously. You get walking hardons like me who say ten minutes, and then uptight fundies who say wait for marriage.

[Devilicious]

I think appropriate is so subjective it's difficult to gauge. Whatever feels right for the person is right for them, no judgements. A lot of women could not rush into something like that, myself included. Then again some are supposed to be your friends and end up being total tramps. What I hate is that no matter how well you think you know someone, you can never be certain. You end up finding out their true nature the hard way. In general that's pretty trashy behavior, but don't forget you don't know what happened after the departure. :-\

[teabag]

why you are looking to take somebody home?
I have 2 answers both honest........ ;D

[Cosmigonon]

There are no rules for that. It is entirely up to you.

[bootstah]

Originally Posted by The

There are no rules for that. It is entirely up to you.

Yeah, I know there are no rules, I just thought there might be a bit of a grace period. Also, when it's done right in front of the other person that does not feel so great either.

[swirlundergrounder]

Originally Posted by bootstah

What do u think is an appropriate amount of time to take a person "home" with u? And I mean after you break-up with someone who you've been in a very meaningful relationship with for several months. Do u think it's wrong to take someone home who you as a couple have hung out with a week after u've broken up with the other person?

SOMEONE IS FEELING ..............GUILTY!!!!!!

A week after you broke up with someone? That's no good. I guess it all depends on what this new person means to you. If this new person means something to you then by all means this is no way to start a new thing with this someone. I mean how could this new person even trust you or even respect you if you are willing to give yourself freely to them in such a manner with this kind of timing?

On the other hand if this person is just a fling thing then you're just looking to fill a void. In turn you're not going to feel very good about yourself in the long run and you will find another situation to fill that void. Eventually it will come down to your own issues with your self-esteem and the cycle will continue.....

It would seem to me (imo, I don't know you or the relationship that you were in) that the old relationship was not very meaningful to you if you are just going to give yourself to someone after only being apart with the previous person for a few days. Sorry to say it like that but if you really cared about the previous person and more importantly yourself, then you would give yourself and your feelings time to sort things out....

But no matter what you're not hurting anyone. Rememebr that. You are only hurting yourself...

That was the 'angelic' side of my speaking..

Now as far as what my 'sleaze-ball' side would say, well..........???????





:P

[bootstah]

Originally Posted by !$*#...otnisaJ

[quote author=bootstah link=board=6;threadid=20596;start=0#msg244189 date=1127886538]
What do u think is an appropriate amount of time to take a person "home" with u? And I mean after you break-up with someone who you've been in a very meaningful relationship with for several months. Do u think it's wrong to take someone home who you as a couple have hung out with a week after u've broken up with the other person?

SOMEONE IS FEELING ..............GUILTY!!!!!!

A week after you broke up with someone? That's no good. I guess it all depends on what this new person means to you. If this new person means something to you then by all means this is no way to start a new thing with this someone. I mean how could this new person even trust you or even respect you if you are willing to give yourself freely to them in such a manner with this kind of timing?

On the other hand if this person is just a fling thing then you're just looking to fill a void. In turn you're not going to feel very good about yourself in the long run and you will find another situation to fill that void. Eventually it will come down to your own issues with your self-esteem and the cycle will continue.....

It would seem to me (imo, I don't know you or the relationship that you were in) that the old relationship was not very meaningful to you if you are just going to give yourself to someone after only being apart with the previous person for a few days. Sorry to say it like that but if you really cared about the previous person and more importantly yourself, then you would give yourself and your feelings time to sort things out....

But no matter what you're not hurting anyone. Rememebr that. You are only hurting yourself...

That was the 'angelic' side of my speaking..

Now as far as what my 'sleaze-ball' side would say, well..........???????





:P
[/quote]

Well you know I really don't know if this person is feeling this guilt. If he is, then I hope he feels it as much as I am hurt by these actions. For me to say that it's typical male behaviour would be a very ridiculous thing to say. Maybe it's just a way of coping with a break-up for this person or maybe it's just him being a complete jerk. My response to this kind of behaviour is to completely wipe this person out of my life. Yes it was meaningful to both parties....... or so I thought.

Sleezeball comments are accepted greatly. Afterall this is a forum and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

[swirlundergrounder]

Originally Posted by bootstah

[quote author=!$*#...otnisaJ yrreT link=board=6;threadid=20596;start=0#msg244237 date=1127916298]
[quote author=bootstah link=board=6;threadid=20596;start=0#msg244189 date=1127886538]
What do u think is an appropriate amount of time to take a person "home" with u? And I mean after you break-up with someone who you've been in a very meaningful relationship with for several months. Do u think it's wrong to take someone home who you as a couple have hung out with a week after u've broken up with the other person?

SOMEONE IS FEELING ..............GUILTY!!!!!!

A week after you broke up with someone? That's no good. I guess it all depends on what this new person means to you. If this new person means something to you then by all means this is no way to start a new thing with this someone. I mean how could this new person even trust you or even respect you if you are willing to give yourself freely to them in such a manner with this kind of timing?

On the other hand if this person is just a fling thing then you're just looking to fill a void. In turn you're not going to feel very good about yourself in the long run and you will find another situation to fill that void. Eventually it will come down to your own issues with your self-esteem and the cycle will continue.....

It would seem to me (imo, I don't know you or the relationship that you were in) that the old relationship was not very meaningful to you if you are just going to give yourself to someone after only being apart with the previous person for a few days. Sorry to say it like that but if you really cared about the previous person and more importantly yourself, then you would give yourself and your feelings time to sort things out....

But no matter what you're not hurting anyone. Rememebr that. You are only hurting yourself...

That was the 'angelic' side of my speaking..

Now as far as what my 'sleaze-ball' side would say, well..........???????





:P
[/quote]

Well you know I really don't know if this person is feeling this guilt. If he is, then I hope he feels it as much as I am hurt by these actions. For me to say that it's typical male behaviour would be a very ridiculous thing to say. Maybe it's just a way of coping with a break-up for this person or maybe it's just him being a complete jerk. My response to this kind of behaviour is to completely wipe this person out of my life. Yes it was meaningful to both parties....... or so I thought.

Sleezeball comments are accepted greatly. Afterall this is a forum and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
[/quote]Oh.... I thought it was you who was wanting to be with someone else after you had broke up with someone.... :-\

Non the less my comments apply to anyone. And I don't change my stance in what I said....

But the bottom line is here is that I know that this is driving you crazy and you probably think about it when you wake up and b4 you go to bed and during most moments in the day in between...And you know what sister??? If someone is going to disregard your feelings in this manner and throw it in your face then is this person and this relationship really worth pinning over for in the long run? Think about that?

Someone who really cares about you will A) never make you look bad and B) never make you feel bad intentionally....

Now as far as you go, you're in a pretty vunerable spot right now and in a place and time were you possibly do something that you are more than likely going to regret...Don't go that way. It isn't worth it. He obviously isnt worth it is he? And if he seems like he is to you then you really have to check your standards in the kind of men you allow in your life and share your bed with......

Now that's what my 'angellic' side would say....

Now as for what my sleazeball side would say......???????? 8) :P

[Cosmigonon]

Oh, I thought it was you taking someone home. Eihter way, my comment still applies. I believe that when you're no longer witha person, there are no ties at all, and my actions should't be determined by what she thinks, as well as I don't expect her to act a certain way just because of me. That to me is the best thing, a clean cut, and no remorse. Being that said, if my ex-gf wants to take a guy to her house a day after she broke up with me, well, of course it will hurt me, but that's my problem, not hers...